I'm discovering that, in big and small matters, God saves us from ourselves. He hides things in plain sight, closing our eyes to them until we need it the most.
Rewind: a few months ago, before Colorado when I first moved into the 579, I misplaced $20 at the grocery store (or so I thought). I was angry that, in my poor post-grad state, I'd managed to lose such a hefty chunk of change. No exaggeration or sarcasm.
Dan helped me look everywhere. I checked all of the laundry, the car, the clear cup of pens (adjective's importance revealed later) by the computer.. everywhere. No $20 to be found. Disappointed but moving on with our lives..
Fast forward: on Monday morning I was fired from my job. It is after midnight, Tuesday night. We are down to precisely $4, which we only have because I finally cracked and broke into the piggy bank Alex 2 painted for me when I left for college. I only took half of physical weight of the coins, but still. I was sad. There was enough bass leftover from yesterday's fishing adventures to cook one more decent meal for two, and then.. milk, eggs, and PB&J until further notice. Ramen does not count. My car is down to under 1/4 tank, and Dan's truck is out of commission because we can't pay to replace the brake lines I messed up two weeks ago. (Despite the sad description, we really are not that worried, and we do laugh at our situation.)
I walked past the computer about 15 minutes ago and for some reason the clear Augusta Nationals cup my pens have been sitting in bothers me. I think a bigger coffee mug with quotes will do a better job and be less likely to tip over. (Item: the AN cup has never tipped over.) So I remove the pens and make the transfer to the quotes mug. Neatly folded in half behind the only pen I ever use out of this clear cup are two crisp $10 bills. How have I never seen them before? Especially since this was the first place we checked for the aforementioned missing $20?
I know why: God chose to hide the money from our sight until such as a time as we needed it the most. I would probably have spent it on a 6-pack of Yuengling or a peach milkshake from Chick Fil A or Dickey's. But he saved it until now, when we have no money and no gas and nothing to cling to but our peaceful, Spirit-given knowledge that God will somehow provide.
I said to Dan this evening, "I'm mostly past the phase in my growth where I wonder if God will provide. I know He will. At this point I wonder exactly how." I guess that makes me a second-grader in the school of walking with God.
Sorry for the rambling in this post.. it's really late and I am just so excited and grateful for another small insight into my Lord's thoughts!