Draw me a map that leads me back to You .
I don't know where to go, please tell me what to do
Help me find the road You're on..
I just need directions home.
Dierks, I don't know if your song was supposed to be directed to God, but that's how I'm interpreting it. Thanks for the reminder and for putting my not-too-far-in-the-past thoughts to music.
I had a grouchy-face/grumpy-pants couple of days at work. Everything the people around me did just seemed to make me more and more irritated, co-workers and customers. I've started bringing my own (ground) coffee to work and making it there. It saves me seriously at least $20/week worth of Starbucks stops. Of course I make enough for everyone; coffee is not expensive and it'd be dumb to make it just for myself. That should have made office life a little better right?
A couple of days this week I got swamped right away and just didn't have a chance to make coffee. Each time that happened, of the maintenance techs would walk in without a word, stare pointedly into the empty coffee pot, and sigh. The second coffee-less day, he did the same and opened the top where the filter sits and made a "huff" noise. On the third day, he came up to me and demanded, "What's up with the coffee? Why ain't you made none today?" I was on the phone with a vendor, and my de-caffeinated morning self did not take kindly to this interruption. Rather than say something rude I rudely ignored him.
Later that afternoon, the same guy stares into the coffee pot again (still empty because I caved and had Starbucks for lunch): "No coffee again. Hey why don't you make us some brownies and bring 'em to work? I like brownies. You should make some." Again I am in the middle of a work phone call. I hang up and tell him no, I will not be bringing him any brownies but that the Publix bakery across the street makes them deliciously. He said, "Well gosh, that wadn't very nice. All I said was you should make brownies. And why ain't you made coffee again today?"
Such a small, stupid thing, but I was completely livid and told him I was busy he needed to go work on something. Indignantly I thought, What right does he have to complain? I bring in good coffee from my house and share it with everyone. I don't owe him anything. I give them one thing out of the kindness of my heart, (humility is not one of my virtues this week) and the first thing he does is complain and ask for something else!
I have a wonderful relationship, great friends & family, a full belly, a warm bed at night, and more blessings than I can even remember to be grateful for. God gives me so many big and little delights out of the goodness of His heart, not to mention He sent his Son to die in my place 2,000 years ago. And yet I have the audacity to complain when one of those blessings (car, job, relationship, health, money) isn't up to my old standard? When it's not exactly how I'm accustomed to having it? And on top of that, I ask for more like I deserve it?
Get over yourself, self. Thanks for the wake-up call and the extra shot of humility this week, Lord.